Damn, baby.

Those fiddlin' fingers got no violin to play on. Lest ye'd be par for the course, the big empty is one lonely bowl, dried up and cracked on the edges, not knowing the next time that sweet wet will visit upon'em. Fear not, me lovelies, check that astro-logical chart and you'll see smooth ailin' dead ahead. Soon you'll stare at that next ache like she was the master race. Just check out this week's whore-scopes, and all will be will.

Arie-us:
You're still starin' at that bright young thang like she's the be all, end all. Don't let it be so. The lull she drags with her ain't worth the time yer investitatin'. Move on, son. Just cuz they's ripe don't mean you should eat'em.

Taur-us:
Bull don't mind some shovin' now and again. Just don't let yerself be fooled by shiny pointy things. Could be Cupid's shaft starin' you down, or could be just a sharp point made by an observant compatriot.

Geminali:
Yer duality gets the best of you. This week is good for hesitation. Spend some time thinkin' over thangs. Ain't no hurry.

Cancerous:
The end ain't so near as you once thunk it. Life goes on and one and on, and all we can do is hold on and see where that ride takes us. Enjoy that ride. The stranger the better.

Leooooohhhhh:
Just around the corner is that sweetness you been pleadin' for. One breath of fresh air and you is home. Just don't be so closed-minded like you like to be. As hard as life has become, you due a return on your deposit. Savor that there aluminum. Ten cents is worth a damn this week.

Virgo, girl:
What you hangin' on to? There ain't no rainbow. Those promises you got yourself believin' ain't nothin' but a pretty song. Your ears ain't your soul. Listen to the deep down and move on from there.

Lee-ber-ah:
All is well. Just don't mess yerself with all the good tidings. Life is in need of a scrubbin' now and again. Scrape away those remnants of false hope and you'll have yerself a good time.

Scor-pay-oh-my:
Don't let no one tell you diff'rnt. Youse in the mood to take it all in one shot. Take them big gulps while you can, cuz if not, you gotta wait a good six months 'fore you come in contact with the big bang.

Sagimatarius:
Play checkers. Do it. Seriously. You have no idea how it'll take your mind of things.

Capricornicopia:
Listen to that little sound in your heart that makes da thump thump thump. It's singing you a song that you never listen to. Well, listen to it now. Something's got a secret, and it's about time you listened.

Aquarius-them-whoever:
Don't feel like you need to listen to other people when it comes to making the grade. You know what you doin', you don't need permission. Don't be a slave to your fishbowl. Somewhere out there is a new kinda air, and you got the lungs for it, no doubt.

Pie-in-the-sky-sees:
You have my blessing. Do as you do, be as you are, don't let astrology change yer thinking. The fish knows the way--it's all just a whoopin' hoopla. It may be upstream, but there ain't no other way, when it comes down to it. We all got waves, but at least you can see'em comin'.

And what have we learned? Stars don't mean nothin' here or there. The moon may have seventy-five percent of our body, but nobody has claim upon the finite soul that binds us into awareness. Lose yourself and you will be lost. Find yourself and you will be lost again. The trick is the hunt. Keep that hunt goin, ladies and gentlemens. It keeps your breath goin' and your mind awake. Save yourselves one dang day at a time.